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  1. Prikvačeni tweet
    27. pro 2019.

    This is my pinned tweet.

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  2. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 12 sati

    I think I've worked out what's so off putting about Buttigieg and it's that he has "wasn't allowed to watch Simpsons as a kid" energy

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  3. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 11 sati

    behaving in certain ways is not a personality trait

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  4. prije 15 sati

    Why yes, I would like to drink coffee out of Captain Kirk's decapitated neck. Why do you ask?...

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  5. 6. velj

    Who's the oldest goth? It's gotta be someone. 40s? 50s?...80s?

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  6. 5. velj

    the best thing about having a wife is, if you ask her on a date, she legally has to at least consider it

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  7. 5. velj

    Inventing a new prefix, "Msr." (Mizz-ter).

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  8. 4. velj
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  9. 4. velj

    They're coming after Michaelangelo's David Schwimmer!

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  10. 4. velj
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  11. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    3. velj

    Nice fridge man... I actually have a freezer. It's like a fridge, but more powerful

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  12. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    If someone on Twitter seems to really dislike you, do the compassionate thing and block them, because it's almost certain they lack the tiny shreds of internal competence required to just stop reading your damn tweets.

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  13. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    3. velj

    imagining a guy who hates horses saying "i can't stomach the whinnying"

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  14. 3. velj

    I'm finally old enough to have a backstory! Very exciting!

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  15. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    2. velj

    everyone: a cirque can't be 'du soleil' cirque du soleil: hold my circus equipment (?) Let's get this viral everybody

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  16. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    2. velj

    We worry way too much about the wrong things - distant plagues instead of our own personal health. We use toxic shock media to distract ourselves from presence in our own life. We're manipulated by actors, foreign & domestic, who use high-valence bait to sucker our attention.

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  17. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    2. velj

    In a tantrum, my daughter threw down the broom and screamed , "You and Mom only had me so you could make me do your chores!" She's onto us.

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  18. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    2. velj

    Twitter must be hard for the British. All those extra U's in words like colour eat up a lot of characters over time.

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  19. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    2. velj

    For the first time in 900 years, today is a palindrome - 02/02/2020 - the same forwards and backwards. That still won't fill the cavern deep inside your heart.

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  20. 2. velj

    In a tantrum, my daughter threw down the broom and screamed , "You and Mom only had me so you could make me do your chores!" She's onto us.

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  21. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    1. velj

    just saw a Bloomberg ad where he goes into a deli and orders a “chopped cheese with extra soft fries” , then he asks if he can eat it in the bathroom. And he opens up the sandwich and he says “I’ve been eating like this for 40 years.” Then he tries to smile and says “I’m mike”

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