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avibryant's profile
Avi Bryant
Avi Bryant
Avi Bryant
@avibryant

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Avi Bryant

@avibryant

Happiest when working on Random Forests from random beaches.

Galiano Island
avibryant.com
Joined November 2006

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    Avi Bryant‏ @avibryant Jul 19

    Actual dream I had: some piece of tech I was working on had the unintended side effect of opening an interdimensional portal, and the demons were coming through, and I was like “hm I should file a JIRA about this”. The rest of the dream was mostly me struggling with the web UI.

    11:01 PM - 19 Jul 2018
    • 515 Retweets
    • 2,249 Likes
    • CoCitizenOfTheWorld Michael Michael DeHaan Tech Industry PLOW techSwap Michael is trying his best Stuart Bell JS Dan Brown
    42 replies 515 retweets 2,249 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. geirmagnusson‏ @geirmagnusson Jul 20
        Replying to @avibryant

        And if you had to file a ticket as a "story" using scrum gibberish, how would it read? "As an interdimensional demon, I would like..."

        1 reply 1 retweet 34 likes
      3. Kevin Boyd‏ @Beryllium9 Jul 20
        Replying to @geirmagnusson @avibryant

        Acceptance Criteria: - No new cacodemons crossing the Einstein-Rosen Bridge - Existing cacodemons nullified

        2 replies 2 retweets 21 likes
      4. Ben S.‏ @HunterZ0 Jul 21
        Replying to @Beryllium9 @geirmagnusson @avibryant

        Rejected: Please write separate backlog items for these two tasks.

        0 replies 1 retweet 8 likes
      5. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Slava Akhmechet‏ @spakhm Jul 19
        Replying to @avibryant

        I recently met a conspiracy theorist who believes CERN scientists are working on opening a demonic portal. I was impressed by his originality, but then he pointed me to dozens of YouTube videos about it. You're not alone!

        4 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
      3. Territorial Syntax‏ @peterhughesdev Jul 19
        Replying to @spakhm @avibryant

        A friend/colleague of mine did his doctorate at CERN. No mention of demonic portals, but he did help film an amateur Zombie movie in the tunnels around the LHC if that counts.

        1 reply 0 retweets 7 likes
      4. Malina Kirn‏ @MalinaKirn Jul 20
        Replying to @peterhughesdev @spakhm @avibryant

        …http://hasthelargehadroncolliderdestroyedtheworldyet.com 

        0 replies 0 retweets 6 likes
      5. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Luke Andrews‏ @attaboy Jul 20
        Replying to @avibryant

        There is no Jira, only ZUUL.

        1 reply 1 retweet 24 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. Sotiris Karagiannis #Ai #blockchain #futureofwork‏ @skaragiannis Jul 20
        Replying to @avibryant

        Was it a blocker ?

        0 replies 1 retweet 9 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Richard Sargent‏ @RSargent5x5 Jul 20
        Replying to @avibryant

        The proper term for that is "nightmare". :-)

        1 reply 0 retweets 4 likes
      3. Emmie Päivärinta‏ @EmmiePaivarinta Jul 21
        Replying to @RSargent5x5 @avibryant

        You're right, it's about JIRA.

        0 replies 0 retweets 6 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Argyris Zymnis  ⚙‏ @argyris Jul 20
        Replying to @avibryant

        I knew why I hated Jira so much. It doesn’t have a default component to assign issues to related to the “Battling inter dimensional demons” epic

        0 replies 1 retweet 6 likes
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      1. Chlodulf Maximino‏ @chlodulfmaximi1 Jul 20
        Replying to @avibryant @benadida

        Basically Laundry Files then. Cc @cstross

        0 replies 0 retweets 7 likes
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      1. Simon Willison‏Verified account @simonw Jul 20
        Replying to @avibryant

        Simon Willison Retweeted dan hon has left the building

        https://twitter.com/hondanhon/status/1003103646014308352 …

        Simon Willison added,

        dan hon has left the building @hondanhon
        Do you think Lucius Fox has trained Batman to request new equipment in the form of user stories / what does Fox’s backlog look like
        Show this thread
        0 replies 0 retweets 6 likes
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      1. Matt Kerr‏ @mattdkerr Jul 19
        Replying to @avibryant @marypcbuk

        Woopsie, time to triagepic.twitter.com/sipBlxnoKm

        0 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
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      1. Gil Reich‏ @GilR Jul 19
        Replying to @avibryant @pegobry

        Are you sure it was a dream?

        0 replies 0 retweets 6 likes
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      1. Eric Lombrozo‏Verified account @eric_lombrozo Jul 21
        Replying to @avibryant @balajis

        Sounds like you've been watching too much Rick and Morty and/or need a break from project management... ;)

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
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      1. Martin Brochhaus‏ @mbrochh Jul 20
        Replying to @avibryant

        You should buy a chainsaw. Just in case.

        0 replies 1 retweet 1 like
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      1. Jake Mannix‏ @pbrane Jul 19
        Replying to @avibryant

        sounds legit.

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Dartacus‏ @dartacus Jul 20
        Replying to @avibryant @owenblacker

        If you find this amusing you may like the Laundry Files series of books by @cstross

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. Dartacus‏ @dartacus Jul 20
        Replying to @dartacus @avibryant and

        ...as many others have mentioned already, sorry.

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      4. 1 more reply

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