Your closest friends will rarely read your work or come to your readings. Just telling you now so you're not disappointed.
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Don't worry, your mom's 50 friends will more than make up for it.
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Don't @ me about your amazing friends who read everything. This tweet is not for you, go make love to the universe somewhere else.
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(To be fair "Go make love to the universe somewhere else" is the perfect scathing first comment that belongs after every single Ask Polly column.)
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I'm just trying to tell you not to be bitter about it. If a friend thinks you'll probably manage to gather 5 people to listen to you read at a bookstore, they tend to bail, thereby avoiding the awkwardness of hearing you read words they've never read.
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Bottom line, don't make every book reading a testing ground for friendship. Then it's like a reading and a wedding wrapped into one. That doesn't tend to work out so well.
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On the other hand, GOOD HUMANS BUY THE BOOKS WRITTEN BY THEIR GOOD FRIENDS. You don't have to read the motherfucker, but you most definitely have to buy it.
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While I'm here, never tell a writer you can't wait to get their book at the library.
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As a fellow author, I have your back on this. When people tell me they got my book at the library, I'm like... yay?? I mean, yay you are reading my book! but it's definitely mixed emotions. I use my library a lot but for new authors. When an author I like has a new book I BUY
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