Once that happens, not being able to put something in that loop (or the loop being harder to create because of barriers like time or distance) feels dishonest.
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You feel like you’re hiding something from them, when it's actually more like the locus of agency moving back into balance on the self, rather than slightly off-balance into the space between ‘you’ and the other.
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Been thinking of this as I shift between countries, social environments, and relationships, back to the old. I can feel my identity creaking back into worn but disused grooves, as this sense of self shifts slight to a different direction. Relationships cling differently.
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