Thoughtforms come to mind when I'm depressed. Individualism appeals when I'm happy. Depression as a submission-seeking state? An acute awareness of isolation from broader being? Individual freedom as an aspirational experience rather than as a property of human existence?
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Replying to @simpolism
I'm more likely to feel part of a broader whole when I'm happy. But when I'm depressed, I don't feel more egotistical - just like I don't have that connection, and thus all action is pointless.
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Replying to @autotrnslucence @simpolism
For me existential crisis is a symptom of depression. I read somewhere that anxiety in particular is more common in animals at the bottom of hierarchies, and high-status ones feel happier.
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Replying to @autotrnslucence @simpolism
My depression is similar — listlessness, anhedonia
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Replying to @sonyaellenmann @simpolism
Yeah I don't really get sad, self-destructive, or low self worth. It's just like a temporary break of the connections between the things I care about and the actions that would be needed to express that care.
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Plus everything takes more energy. I've learned to use to time to read whatever I want, which is normally a guilty pleasure.
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Replying to @autotrnslucence @simpolism
ah here we diverge, I do also have a ton of self-loathing so interesting how diverse these experiences can be!
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It's weird. For me, there can be some insecurity, but there's also a tone of outside view like 'oh yeah, look! This is the part when your view is distorted because you're attached to being perceived a certain way! You'll feel more competent when this depressed mode is over.'...
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I think I've become more patient with that state recently, but I've also always trusted that it will go away eventually, so I guess I'm lucky, plus flexible schedules ftw. I mostly just sleep, read philosophy, journal and talk to loved ones.
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