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autotrnslucence's profile
Jessica Watson Miller
Jessica Watson Miller
Jessica Watson Miller
@autotrnslucence

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Jessica Watson Miller

@autotrnslucence

Crypto PM. Salon over soapbox. Maybe a metarationalist or something. How do we improve large-scale human collaboration?

San Francisco, USA
autotranslucence.wordpress.com
Joined January 2017

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    Jessica Watson Miller‏ @autotrnslucence May 28

    Anyone know of good writing with growth-oriented arguments for marriage or long-term romantic commitments? Mostly I find stability arguments, or reactions against monogamy (uninteresting), or people taking the goodness of committed LTRs/marriage for granted.

    5:06 PM - 28 May 2018
    • 5 Retweets
    • 26 Likes
    • Andrew M Isa Hassen Luke Gibson Rahul Ramchandani Apoorv Singh Nine-Banded Books Sister Sarah Tyler Prete IB TLJ
    9 replies 5 retweets 26 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Venkatesh Rao‏ @vgr May 28
        Replying to @autotrnslucence

        I bet @sarahdoingthing does

        1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
      3. Sister Sarah‏ @sarahdoingthing May 28
        Replying to @vgr

        I’m not sure I have arguments, more like observations + enthusiasm

        2 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
      4. Sister Sarah‏ @sarahdoingthing May 28
        Replying to @sarahdoingthing @vgr

        specialness of human pair bond cf. other great apes, observation of conflict and stress in polygamous families/societies

        1 reply 0 retweets 5 likes
      5. Sister Sarah‏ @sarahdoingthing May 28
        Replying to @sarahdoingthing @vgr

        and behind it all the possibility of human pair bond as an optimal zone of total alignment of interests

        2 replies 0 retweets 7 likes
      6. Jessica Watson Miller‏ @autotrnslucence May 28
        Replying to @sarahdoingthing @vgr

        Can you say more about what the total alignment feels like it does in your life? The thing I'm specifically interested in is the difference between moving on when you both grow out of what brought you together, versus committing to staying together no matter what.

        1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
      7. Sister Sarah‏ @sarahdoingthing May 28
        Replying to @autotrnslucence @vgr

        there’s a future orientation to it - to put it coldly it’s like a way of building equity vs. paying rent?

        2 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
      8. Weston Edwards‏ @alifeofmovement May 31
        Replying to @sarahdoingthing @vgr

        It definitely aligns incentives for the relationship as a whole. If my base understanding is that we are staying together, everything builds off of that as opposed to it being one of the branches. It also incentives long term over short term actions.

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      9. Jessica Watson Miller‏ @autotrnslucence May 31
        Replying to @alifeofmovement @sarahdoingthing @vgr

        Yeah, as far as I can tell one of the major benefits to committing to a long term relationship is that both of you expect the relationship to continue indefinitely, which likely makes it more stable. So it's a virtuous cycle thing.

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      10. 1 more reply
      1. New conversation
      2. Rin'dzin‏ @_awbery_ May 30
        Replying to @autotrnslucence

        Related to that, ’Entering the Heart of the Sun and Moon’ is Ngak’chang Rinpoche and Khandro Déchen’s book on long-term romantic relationships. It’s long and the language is not easy. It’s the only book I know on relationship as Vajrayana practice. http://arobuddhism.org/books/entering-the-heart-of-sun-and-moon.html …

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. Jessica Watson Miller‏ @autotrnslucence May 30
        Replying to @_awbery_

        I will check it out!

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Jessica Watson Miller‏ @autotrnslucence May 28

        Ok sure, but that is still an interesting argument in and of itself; examples of specific innovations that flourish under capitalism are still useful arguments for capitalism, particularly if they wouldn't flourish under competing systems.

        2 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. Gary Basin‏ @garybasin May 28
        Replying to @autotrnslucence

        Tolstoy

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      4. Tweet unavailable
      5. Gary Basin‏ @garybasin May 28

        More like the task of building a family and how monogamy is related to that

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      6. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Visakan Veerasamy‏ @visakanv May 28
        Replying to @autotrnslucence

        I’ve shared this with a few friends who’ve appreciated ithttps://medium.com/@visakanv/slack-for-spouses-5a91e7140d21 …

        2 replies 12 retweets 101 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. New conversation
      2. John Paul Lewicke‏ @jplewicke May 29
        Replying to @autotrnslucence

        There's some good stuff in Getting The Love You Want on how people unconsciously choose a partner whose traits mirror their own shadow stuff that they need to work through. Validating their partner even in conflict then becomes an act of healing & integrating the shadow.

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. John Paul Lewicke‏ @jplewicke May 29
        Replying to @jplewicke

        Jayson Gaddis (https://www.jaysongaddis.com/ ) also has a lot of growth-oriented relationship stuff like that coming from a Buddhist/practitioner perspective, albeit spread out across a bunch of blog posts and podcasts that are trying to sell his infoproducts.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Rin'dzin‏ @_awbery_ May 30
        Replying to @autotrnslucence

        Ngak’chang Rinpoche and Khandro Déchen teach on long-term relationship as Vajra Romance. There’s a synopsis of the teaching here: http://www.aroencyclopaedia.org/shared/text/h/honey_ar_eng.php …

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. Rin'dzin‏ @_awbery_ May 30
        Replying to @_awbery_

        There’s a typo at start of paragraph 11, it will be fixed soon. Should read “Within the Tantric vision, all women are secretly pawos (not ‘khandros’), and men are secretly khandros (not ‘pawos’). Khandro = female/sky dancer Pawo = male/warrior

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. End of conversation

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