This social justice man texted me out of the blue recently. No too surprising; known one another for years and say hi from time to time.
He wrote back that he was sorry and that he "didn't want to offend me." Then added "You look pretty. Hope you're well."
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Also he just jumped in in Spanish. Like speaking Spanish makes us equal.pic.twitter.com/EXrFyhayF9
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Also, this isn't shade toward soft porn workers. This is shade toward social justice men who want to make unwelcome sexual references.
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There's so much here. To start: he did something that silenced me. I was shocked into not saying anything to him.
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And I'm trying not to blame myself for that. But I do.
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Because women always blame ourselves for everything when it comes to men. It doesn't require a romantic relationship of any sort.
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I'm also mad that I had to do this work. Like I FUCKING STOPPED RESPONDING WHY DO YOU THINK THAT IS? But nah. I had to tell spell it out.
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And look what happens when I do. He writes back in Spanish. Why is that? Like it's gonna soften me or something?
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Not to say we don't keep in touch in Spanish sometimes, too. But this? Esto es mierda.
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And just LOOK at what he wrote. "Forgive me." Thats a directive. It's not an ask. It's not an admission of fuckery. It's a command.
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Followed by, "I didn't want to offend you." Which is just a way to de-center the consequences of his words. And re-center his intent.
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Then he just HAS to add, "You look real pretty," which only emphasizes his gaze.
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Anyway, I'm kinda livid. I've dealt with shit like this my whole life. Only more recently have I been making these aggressions more public.
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I'm also wondering what, if anything, I do next? Definitely not reaching out to him again.
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Oh shit. Of course he follows me on Twitter. Hai. You're lucky I'm not including your handle.
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He holds a pretty major position in a pretty major advocacy organization. If I tweeted the name of it, you'd have heard of it.
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It's also not the the worse of all of harassment, though. Not at all. And he is Latino. I don't want to put his livelihood in jeopardy.
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I don't even know who I'm tweeting all of this for.
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Maybe it's or me. I know I found power in words, even if those words point out disempowerment.
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Maybe it's for every person (almost all women) who've felt harassed by social justice men and never heard a proper apology for it.
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Maybe it's for every social justice man who need to take a thousand seats. And write a thousand apologies.
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OMG OMG OMG Same social justice man just sent me new messages asking I donate to his fundraiser for a trip abroad. What in the entire....
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