This social justice man texted me out of the blue recently. No too surprising; known one another for years and say hi from time to time.
Anyway. He asked about the avi of me that appeared on his screen and texted:pic.twitter.com/2q3bS7yS7U
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I was really offended. He wrote almost a week ago and I only got back today to tell him that wasn't ok.
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He wrote back that he was sorry and that he "didn't want to offend me." Then added "You look pretty. Hope you're well."
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Also he just jumped in in Spanish. Like speaking Spanish makes us equal.pic.twitter.com/EXrFyhayF9
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Also, this isn't shade toward soft porn workers. This is shade toward social justice men who want to make unwelcome sexual references.
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There's so much here. To start: he did something that silenced me. I was shocked into not saying anything to him.
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And I'm trying not to blame myself for that. But I do.
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Because women always blame ourselves for everything when it comes to men. It doesn't require a romantic relationship of any sort.
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I'm also mad that I had to do this work. Like I FUCKING STOPPED RESPONDING WHY DO YOU THINK THAT IS? But nah. I had to tell spell it out.
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And look what happens when I do. He writes back in Spanish. Why is that? Like it's gonna soften me or something?
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Not to say we don't keep in touch in Spanish sometimes, too. But this? Esto es mierda.
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And just LOOK at what he wrote. "Forgive me." Thats a directive. It's not an ask. It's not an admission of fuckery. It's a command.
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Followed by, "I didn't want to offend you." Which is just a way to de-center the consequences of his words. And re-center his intent.
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Then he just HAS to add, "You look real pretty," which only emphasizes his gaze.
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Anyway, I'm kinda livid. I've dealt with shit like this my whole life. Only more recently have I been making these aggressions more public.
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I'm also wondering what, if anything, I do next? Definitely not reaching out to him again.
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Oh shit. Of course he follows me on Twitter. Hai. You're lucky I'm not including your handle.
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He holds a pretty major position in a pretty major advocacy organization. If I tweeted the name of it, you'd have heard of it.
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It's also not the the worse of all of harassment, though. Not at all. And he is Latino. I don't want to put his livelihood in jeopardy.
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I don't even know who I'm tweeting all of this for.
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Maybe it's or me. I know I found power in words, even if those words point out disempowerment.
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Maybe it's for every person (almost all women) who've felt harassed by social justice men and never heard a proper apology for it.
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Maybe it's for every social justice man who need to take a thousand seats. And write a thousand apologies.
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OMG OMG OMG Same social justice man just sent me new messages asking I donate to his fundraiser for a trip abroad. What in the entire....
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