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  1. Pinned Tweet
    Feb 13

    I detect that grapefruits are peaking right now. Happy!

  2. May 1

    "None of these people have ever met" -

  3. Retweeted
    Apr 27

    “The statues walked,” Easter Islanders say. To move each moai, 2 groups may have rocked it side to side while a rear group kept it upright

  4. Retweeted
    Apr 21
    Replying to

    I don't know what's gonna happen, but I really tried to make something beautiful before I die

  5. Apr 18

    Experience: Billionth Customer at Pier 1 Imports. Instructions: Two bags of potpourri on dashboard, crack windows, drive 55mph.

  6. Retweeted
    Feb 18

    never meet your heroes. try to make better stuff than them with all your friends 😏

  7. Apr 10

    Just realized I was supposed to chew Good & Plenty for pleasure. Makes sense now. Been swallowing 2 every morning with a glass of water.

  8. Retweeted
    Mar 20

    this is just...so pure

  9. Mar 14

    Take 10min and watch this genuinely beautiful trailer for my pal 's game EVERYTHING ft. Alan Watts

  10. Retweeted
    Feb 15
  11. Feb 4

    chia seeds in soup and tea bags in rice

  12. 17 Oct 2016
  13. 20 Sep 2016

    Paid a guy $200 to check my prostate, no HMO.

  14. 28 Jul 2016

    At Disneyland - the space junk meteor things crossed the sky DURING FIREWORKS. Mind blown for a minute trying to figure the depth trickery.

  15. 18 Jul 2016

    Figuring out how to use Silk Road - ordered a hit on myself. Sent him a predator costume and told him to come find me at Xel-Ha Tulum.

  16. 17 Jun 2016

    "Do Not Disturb" = "Please analyze my daily patterns, enter room when I'm gone, pull comforter over my reading materials"

  17. 17 Jun 2016

    How to use the internet at ANY hotel in China

  18. Retweeted
    13 Jun 2016

    Many counterfeit products are better quality, better price, than the real thing, founder Jack Ma says

  19. 13 Jun 2016

    It's also very upsetting to the cashier and the others in line when you don't use a loyalty rewards card.

  20. 13 Jun 2016

    At Starbucks in China, they give you a plastic glove to handle your own food as you move it from the plate to your mouth.

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