Associate Deans

@ass_deans

Making fun of middle management in colleges and universities. Because you can never have too many associate deans conspiring to be THE dean.

Inside an Ivory Tower
Vrijeme pridruživanja: lipanj 2014.

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  1. prije 3 sata

    I don’t know why the Iowa Caucuses are taking so long, it should be as simple as using Concur to book a flight, make a hotel reservation or report your travel expenses!

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  2. prije 5 sati

    That philosophy professor, you know the one, is complaining the internal search for dean of the policy school is rigged against him.

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  3. prije 6 sati

    Like the caucuses, our strategic planning meeting tomorrow will last hours and few will be persuaded. Hope the college faculty have fun with our exercise in democratic governance!

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  4. 2. velj

    Remember the best teachers help students learn even when they don’t buy the books or come to class.

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  5. 1. velj

    The provost asked the dean for a report and the dean asked me to handle it for the college. I created a committee that developed a work plan. The actual work was done by unpaid student workers working as college “ambassadors.” We told them it would look good on their resumes.

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  6. 1. velj
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  7. 1. velj

    So, the college's club hockey team is playing a Canadian school tomorrow. The dean was asked by the athletic director if we had any Canadian faculty or students who could sing their national anthem? We think it is 'God Save the Queen.'

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  8. 1. velj

    The president has unexpectedly retired, for "health" reasons! Now the provost is in as the acting president, The associate provost as the acting provost, our dean is now the acting associate provost. And around here, no one is breaking eye contact!

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  9. 31. sij

    You can’t drop out of the department chair search after we already sent you a rejection. We need to count you in our applicant pool to make it look like we didn’t fix the search.

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  10. 31. sij

    The college received your department’s hiring recommendation. Unfortunately, the department got it wrong so we need you to vote again. Don’t think about what’s best from a disciplinary perspective, think about what the college would want.

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  11. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    PPR: It is like TSA Pre-Check, but fir your article! Use our list of certified prescreeners at $500 per submission to enhance the likelihood of publication success and avoid the long lines and intrusive searches of conventional peer review.

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  12. 30. sij

    Really? Throw a tenured position into a room full of adjuncts and see what happens. Or tell a tenured faculty member he is losing his tenure.

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  13. 30. sij

    Your sabbatical request was denied. The official reason is that you didn’t do enough to show the benefit to the college. The actual reason is the Board of Regents and state legislature have been complaining about the number of faculty not teaching.

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  14. 30. sij

    We are sorry your publication was delayed by the journal strike, but it is still 'forthcoming' and does not count toward your tenure unless in print.

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  15. 30. sij

    We are informed that the Assessment Office went on strike 18 months ago. They report that they are making progress on their outcomes.

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  16. 29. sij

    [ Insert your virtue signal here. ]

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  17. 29. sij

    We are now 'beta testing' all new rules and procedures. Oh, please have you faculty sign the attached release. It's nothing, really.

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  18. 28. sij

    So, I know you're on leave, but I need you to approve time and pay for someone who was misassigned to your unit. Trust us, they exist.

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  19. 28. sij

    In an effort to prepare our students for the coming job market we are recruiting under employed graduate students who are finishing up to become career coaches on campus. Because those who cannot work or teach, career coach!

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  20. 27. sij

    Check your inbox. I just sent an article to all college faculty & staff, everyone should read. Hoping we get a lot of discussion out of this, so please reply all with your thoughts and comments.

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