OK, so let's say that someone finds an authentic Shroud of Turin, is a genius geneticist, and clones the blood on it
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Catholics believe she died a virgin because the mother of Christ had to be so pure she would never engage in sex
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To butcher a line from Dogma: believing in a virgin birth is faith, believing a married couple never got it on is plain guillability
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Well the Catholic tradition of their marriage wouldn't have been too unusual for the time period
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Nonthreatening elderly family friend marries the pregnant girl to save her the pain of being a single mom
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There's some cool traditions about the character of Joseph
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In this version he dies when Jesus is still a child, and demands from Jesus to know why God had him upend his life to marry Mary
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And so he's given the honor of being the first person to whom Jesus tells his mission
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So St. Joseph for Catholics is the patron saint of carpenters (and the working class), fathers/male protectors, and of a peaceful death
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