You know who was named John and came from Wisconsin? Jean Racine (Except he wasn't, he was French, but the joke is that there's also ahttps://twitter.com/petridishes/status/874078776304558086 …
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(This is also a joke, Mr. Odets, acclaimed author of AUGUST: OSAGE COUNTY, is a normal-sized human whose finances are unknown to me)
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Shall I send for help?
End of conversation
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