And I've made progress making some pretty complex "shapes" in my head and manipulating them, but I've never SEEN them
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Replying to @FreyjaErlings
So I've moved on to pictures of people I've known, reconstructing them with my eyes closed, to see *how* I remember faces
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Replying to @FreyjaErlings
And that's when I got what I can only describe as an image - black and white but an IMAGE - of my Grandfather's deathbed
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Replying to @FreyjaErlings
Every detail down to the little can of coke on the bedstand, and of course his face (I was the last family member to see him alive)
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Replying to @FreyjaErlings
And it didn't last long, but I SAW it. And it terrified the fuck out of me. Other people see shit like this ALL THE TIME?
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Replying to @FreyjaErlings
It does support my theory that my aphantasia isn't something I was born with, though. Something is getting stored; I just can't access
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Replying to @FreyjaErlings
The more terrifying thing: I'm going to have to focus on this image for my next set of self-made exercises, conjure it again.
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Replying to @FreyjaErlings
It is, to say the least, not a happy memory. Or a comfortable one. It leaves me feeling reedy and fragile. So that's fun.
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Replying to @FreyjaErlings
I still find the concept that most people do this unconsciously, all the time, to be horrible. What an existence, locked in your head.
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most people are somewhere on an in-between spectrum
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Replying to @arthur_affect @AndriErlingsson
my guess is for most people visualization is a conscious effort most of the time
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Replying to @arthur_affect @AndriErlingsson
otherwise you wouldn't have to tell people "picture it"
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