Even in an ideal system, one that worked the way it's supposed to on paper, getting taken away by CPS would be inherently harmful -- child psychologists are unanimously agreed that family disruption is a severe "adverse childhood event"
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Even if you live in an abusive home, getting taken away into the unknown is a *fundamentally* shitty thing to have happen to you that causes you damage Losing your old environment and starting over fucking sucks at any age but especially for a kid
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And that's leaving aside that the foster system *doesn't* function as advertised most of the time and the situations kids get put into *really fucking suck*
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As much as there are decent people in the system trying to keep it from happening -- foster kids get beaten up, foster kids get sexually assaulted, foster kids get killed It happens all the time
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There are no good, easy answers to the problem of child abuse and bad parents The state wants foster care to be vetted, monitored and guaranteed "good parents" as a backup safety net for all the bad parents out there but that's a fucking tall order and they fail constantly
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I went to school one morning with my father's handprint visible across my face from where he'd hit me. CPS came out. My 12yo logic was this: if they take me, i'll just end up in a foster home, and since dad was a certified foster parent, i could end up back with him with a grudge
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I assured the CPS interviewer that everything was fine, and that I was safest where I was. And, despite having been struck hard enough to leave a handprint on my face, to this day I believe that assessment was correct, and it frustrates me, the progress we haven't made in 40 yrs.
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Great thread.
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