To continue this metaphor, I guess, one thing about touching a hot stove is if you really do just *brush* the stove and jerk back immediately you indeed don't feel much pain at all Someone who is allowed to freely avoid negative stimuli generally doesn't feel much pain
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You know, just like comfortable well-fed people have a *drive* to eat food and drink water but they don't really know what "hunger" and "thirst" are Not really, only kinda sorta, in fleeting moments before the microwave is done with their nachos
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The main reason you feel actual *pain* is when you brush against the hot stove, you *try* to pull your hand back, *and someone holds your hand there and won't let you move it*
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Just like the Buddhist concepts of dukkha/tanha/chanda in and of themselves are benign A life of getting hungry, making sandwiches and then eating them isn't a bad life at all, it doesn't contain any of what we think of as "negative emotions"
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All that ugly dark stuff? That actually constitutes "suffering"? The rage, the resentment, the fear, the betrayal, the grief? That's what happens when the fridge is empty
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There is a very real sense in which dysphoria to some degree might be inevitable (to the extent that transness is biological, a "born in the wrong body" narrative) but to a huge extent is social The problem isn't with the person, the problem is with society
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It's with the parents or the teachers or the doctors or the Jesse Singals who really want to know "Okay, is the stove hot, or did you just kinda move your hand for the sake of moving it?" and then hold your hand in place and watch your face to see if you cry
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I don't believe that it's plausible Jesse Thorn's daughter has NEVER experienced what some chud like Singal thinks of as "real dysphoria", but I believe it probably only happened after she entered school and had to deal with a transphobic society
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And I believe that on the off chance she really didn't "experience dysphoria" in the sense Singal means -- she's never felt that overpowering sense of wrongness like your hand being stuck on a hot stove and not being allowed to lift it -- then that's to be fucking celebrated
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Holy shit, a set of parents whose trans kid *never* truly felt dysphoric because as soon as she said "I'm a girl" she was listened to and believed? Someone jerked their hand back from the stove so fast it didn't even leave a scar? That's a goddamn Christmas miracle
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And some fucking creep, some fucking sadist like Dusty Springroll here, thinking he's a hero for holding your hand on the stove "until you know for sure if it's really hot"
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Maybe if you keep your hand there long enough you'll learn the bullshit twisted Tough Guy version of Buddhism where you find out that heat and cold are "illusions" and pain can be ignored and be a tough strong hardened adult (with a maimed hand), like Paul Atreides in Dune
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Fuck him Fuck everyone who thinks like him Fuck everyone in this whole benighted world who has a way to make life easy and chooses to make it hard
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End of conversation
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