I wouldn't, and haven't said, it's maladaptive. In fact, I've repeatedly said I think people should have appropriate boundaries for their circumstances.
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Yet literally the only reason any of this conversation is happening is because you deigned to declare a person's boundaries maladaptive for reasons you still will not specify.
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I've specified them repeatedly. Meanwhile, you've indicated your own defenses are basically sky high, which would explain the way this conversation has gone. No doubt you have real reasons for that, but has it prevented us from having the conversation we might have? I'd say so.
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Really? Because I think the source of the problem is that you are categorically unwilling to specify your reasoning for your initial e-diagnosis, for reasons I can only speculate about, followed by pedantry, equivocation, arguments from personal incredulity, and general bad faith
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Bizarre. Scroll up. I've told you why I think his defense mechanisms are maladaptive. I've said it's an example of splitting. Goodies and baddies. Not how the world works or how people are.
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Replying to @BlamKaboom @NECacophony and
Wtf? I'm cishet but I've had so many gay friends, and grew up in the 80s to boot, and seen so much shit that you don't know wtf you're talking about. I've heard and seen parents, teachers, exclaiming disgust, had people try to assault me for who Im with. The world is full of hate
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Replying to @Chriswb71 @BlamKaboom and
Even our own country isn't even safe. If I go to the county with my gay friends people state and mutter under their breath. I am not a fighting sort of person, but I worry "am I going to have to get in a fight?" sometimes.
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Replying to @Chriswb71 @BlamKaboom and
"the world's not like that" it sure as fuck is. It's no different than women treating strange cis men as shrodinger's rapist. So many cis men are violent that it is only logical to be wary of any new man until you can verify he's not dangerous. Any good man will not mind this.
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Replying to @Chriswb71 @BlamKaboom and
It's like you think everyone in the world is as safe as a cis white male. And you refuse to listen to anyone telling you anything else. And you cloak it in patronizing pedantry and telling strangers what they feel.
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Replying to @Chriswb71 @NECacophony and
I have a lot of replies to catch up on, but since this is at the top, when did I say the world is safe? I said splitting is maladaptive. I’m getting the impression a lot of people don’t know what splitting is.
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In a world filled with nasty abusive people, especially an extremely online world where you may encounter hundreds or thousands of people in passing within a short timespan, having a low threshold for writing people off as assholes is perfectly adaptive
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