Because yes, assuming you and the kids survived unscathed - which is a big assumption - and your kids grow up to be happy successful adults, then yeah now you're an old retired person with a happy successful adult in your family, which is better than not having one
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But it's a hell of a risky investment The question non-parents ask is always "Aren't you afraid of dying alone?" and if it's a binary choice between that and being surrounded by loving family on your deathbed then hey sure easy choice
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But that's assuming success when the whole thing that makes parenting hard is the fear of failure I'll take the certainty of simply dying alone because I don't have any friends or family younger than me any day vs the possibility of dying alone because my kids hate my guts
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Exactly! I feel like most ppl really don't know what they're getting into. Looking at other parents prior to kids is much like social media, ppl curate their feed showing mostly highlights and ppl are surprised when reality doesn't line up.
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Does it? I suppose I’ll report back in 15 years but I’m not so sure.
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That depends a lot on the person. For me, I was happiest parenting when my child was old enough to hold conversations. For my shitty mother, she lost interest in parenting the second we were old enough to "talk back' to her. That's when she started hoarding cats.
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I’ve loved parenting so far, even on the hard days. Best thing I’ve done with my life. But I always loved kids—I was a nanny, then camp counselor, then teacher. I tell everyone you gotta be really, really sure you want kids. Too many people do it just cuz it’s “what you do.”
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I think those studies are almost certainly skewed by selection bias. In our culture, it’s a hell of a lot easier to end up having kids when you don’t want to or don’t know what you’re getting into than to not have them when you want them. I was a lot unhappier before I had kids,
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but the pandemic has made it a lot harder, for sure.
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For a long time I didn't want kids because I made all of these assumptions that the risk was too high and I was sure that I would be bad at it. Maybe because my expectations were so low I was pleasantly surprised, but my kids were also nothing like what I saw culturally...
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Like, I had been expecting that the toddler years would involve typical toddler behavior that you see on TV, but instead you could actually talk to like he was a tiny adult because he listened and cooperated and he could play by himself and he liked helping with household chores.
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