I mean, that was my point A lot of this discourse is obnoxiously gendered, and fine, maybe it's because I have a penis and that makes me an asshole But I have witnessed so many men DESPERATE to avoid spending time at home with their kids
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Throwing themselves into jobs THEY HATED to give them something socially acceptable to do that wasn't going home and spending time with the kids (The biggest example I grew up with was, of course, my own father)
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I guess if I were a character in a sitcom my reaction to this would be to swear to be a great dad to my own kids to make up for my own childhood But the fact of the matter is that, as bad as my childhood hurt me, it makes sense to me, I empathize a great deal with his decision
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I mean, I take after him I have a similar personality to his and I wouldn't want to be around kids all the time either, I too would rather stay at the office dealing with work bullshit
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I think the primary way in which I strongly believe I'm a better man than him is recognizing this fact about myself in time to not make any irreversible decisions that would punish an innocent baby for my own lack of self-knowledge
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(If I had to name one character trait of mine that's the most likely to turn people off about me it's the extension of the child hating thing - it's that while I strongly morally condemn deadbeat dads I also overwhelmingly empathize with them There but for the grace of God)
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(There is an alternate universe where I have a biological kid somewhere that I've seen in person all of twice and I am voluntarily choosing to work double shifts at a crappy job as preferable to being a custodial parent)
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(And everybody in my family and the mom's family hates me for this choice but it's literally that or suicide And someday that kid's gonna do the Will Smith monologue "WHY DON'T HE WANT ME, MAN?" and I'll have no answer but "I'm just a shitty person, okay?!")
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Anyway whenever I feel bad about my actual current life, which ever since the pandemic started is pretty much all the time to varying degrees, I just think about this possible other me in this other timeline and realize how lucky I am to not be him
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We're barely removed from a time when people were having children as a form of slavery to send their children to work and bring home money.
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Anyone look back fondly on the says of sending kids to die in the mines? Okay, anyone who’s *not* a coal magnate?
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