I think the biggest source of imposter syndrome for me is my own cowardice. I've lost count of the stories I've read from trans people who felt the same immense pressure from all directions that I felt to conform to the gender they were assigned. But they resisted. I didn't.
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When it comes to gender I've always taken the path of least resistance. I never really tried to be the man everyone wanted me to be, but I never really tried to be the woman I secretly wanted to be either. Admitting that makes me feel like I don't deserve it.
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I joke about not knowing whether or not I'm trans a year into HRT and the kernel of truth is that every time I look at myself I think "Hm y'know for someone who claims they want to live differently you sure have folded like a lawn chair at the first sign of difficulty every time"
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Replying to @Nymphomachy
Thank you. I feel like if not an imposter then an outlier at best. I hear other trans people say "The people in my life told me I was X but fought them on it because I was Y!" but my story is more like "I could tell they wanted me to be X so I just kept quiet and went with it."
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The worst thing the world does to good people is to teach them that by trying to defer to others and make them happy, they were weak and they deserved the suffering those others inflicted on them
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