The standards for women are *also going up at the same time* and it's easier to defend that happening because "Hey we have high standards for everyone, equal opportunity"
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There was that article about PUA redpill communities straight up telling dudes to all go out en masse for cosmetic surgery to get their jawlines fixed etc.
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And, like, I'm pro-doing-whatever-you-want with your body but the way they talk about it is pretty ugly Directly analogizing it to market capitalism, "sexual market value" "If women are doing it then you need to do it and if you do it they won't have an excuse not to do it"
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It's like -- I am not defending all the free labor dads have extracted out of moms over the generations or saying that dads shouldn't be expected to parent But when people say the "solution" to childcare derailing women's careers is "husbands suck it up" I think we're doomed
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If the solution to "Nearly 100% of women get their lives derailed and careers ruined by having kids" is "Let's change it so 50% of women get their lives derailed and careers ruined, but 50% of the time it'll happen to the men!", then your solution is... not a good solution
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Even if it's the theoretically superior "We will *both* get our lives ruined but *only* 50% ruined" -- which is pretty hard to make work in real life, because careers don't scale that way like liquids in a container -- it's still bad Like that just should not be how it works
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Replying to @arthur_affect
It's a good intermediate step though, an example of two wrongs makes a right. When we don't have 50% of society who are actively incentivized to resist change because the status quo *benefits* them, it's easier to get everyone on board with positive change.
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Replying to @matryoshka_core
I... am not optimistic about this actually leading to long term positive change I'm not optimistic in general but not about this in particular
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Replying to @arthur_affect @matryoshka_core
It's not like mothers actually stockpiled guns and violently took over society and forced fathers to give up their power at any point The bleak articles about the rollback of progress during the pandemic point this out
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Replying to @arthur_affect @matryoshka_core
The gains of women in the workplace etc in previous generations were to a depressing degree driven by men going "Yeah okay sure, if it doesn't really cost me anything this sounds fair"
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And when the pandemic hit and the issue of equitable parenting turned into something that *would* cost them, immediately and dearly, men just said "No" "Try and make me"
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Replying to @arthur_affect @matryoshka_core
I guess we have to try and make them, then.
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