internet pop psychology terms like "narcissist," "toxic," etc are a rly scary carceral identity based thinking - creates a "mental disorder" that just defines a person as "evil and always will be"
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Especially because "narc discourse" BRAGS ABOUT THE LACK OF EMPATHY "EMPATHS" HAVE FOR NARCISSISTS They straight up say a narcissist is someone it's impossible to genuinely empathize with -- "You think you can predict their actions and reactions but there's just nothing there"
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It turns into this unfalsifiable fortress of self-justification If you think you "get" other people and their emotions make sense to you, that's somehow proof you're a good person If you meet someone this fails to be true for, that's proof THEY'RE a bad person
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There's this great moment in the Shane Dawson documentary about Jake Paul where he labels himself an empath in contrast with Jake's possible sociopathy. Which, wild at the time, even more wild now that I know more about Shane's past.
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As someone with aggressive, over active empathy... it's wrong. All the time. It's abuse hypervigilance, which means I'm trained to read emotional cues in a fundamentally selfish way. I feel pain in my hands when I see open wounds on other people. This doesn't make me better
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than a narcissist. My mom isn't bad because she won't empathize with me (though her response to me being sad is generally praise). It's that she won't stop kissing my neck even when I ask!
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