A Poem Sometimes you have to jump out of the plane
-
-
And the wind is wild and howling and rabid, clutching and groping at you like an animal And the ground spins dizzy below you, and the empty sky yawns hungry around you, and there's no one here to tell you you're doing the right thing But you still have to jump from the plane
Show this thread -
Maybe you've calculated the risks and they are high, very high indeed Maybe you know the time to jump was long ago, and it's now almost too late The plane has already descended to just a few thousand feet There's no getting out of this without pain
Show this thread -
You won't have time to safely clear the plane's wake before pulling the ripcord, not enough to slow your descent You'll still be dropping like a stone when you hit the ground with a rattling crunch You could die of exposure, in an open field, both legs broken, in agony
Show this thread -
The time to jump was when the plane hit its cruising altitude an hour ago When you were only on your way and not about to arrive When you were still trying to tell yourself the plane's course could still be changed
Show this thread -
The time to make the right choice was long before that, before the plane took off You could have never boarded, you could have kept your feet planted firmly on the ground, safe and sound And whatever seemed so bad about where you were before, you wouldn't have to jump now
Show this thread -
But it doesn't matter None of that matters The past can't be changed and in the present you are here and even though it becomes a worse and worse choice with every second that passes jumping RIGHT NOW is still the only choice, it has always been the only choice
Show this thread -
Because you know where the plane is going You know what's going to happen when you land You know who's flying it - deep down you've always known And if they fail at their goal it's a guarantee of a horrible death by fire And if they succeed, a life that's even worse
Show this thread -
So you have to decide And it's ultimately no decision at all You learn who you are, when the plane is about to land The same unconscious pulley strings that maneuvered you onto the plane in the first place undid your straps, popped the hatch, are leaning you into the wind
Show this thread -
The adrenaline rushing through you burns like acid through rusted metal, you might crack, you might burst, you might die here and now, at the very end, simply from fear But you will not turn back You will not return to your post and complete your mission
Show this thread -
That last step is a killer Taking it will take all the strength you have You may have nothing left afterwards, maybe not even enough to pop your chute Maybe this is just suicide And maybe if you live, it'll be a broken half-life, a death rattle, a decades-long sigh of regret
Show this thread -
But you only learn some things, really know them, when the plane is about to land And in this moment, teetering on the edge of the void, waiting to fall into gravity's cruel embrace, you know one thing
Show this thread -
Not who you are, oh no That lonely quest has only ever turned up dead ends That's the kind of nonsense that got you on the plane in the first place No, you're pretty sure, whenever you die, you won't know that Maybe you're nobody, nothing, that's all you ever were
Show this thread -
But you know what you ARE NOT You are not one of them You do not belong here You are not going where the plane is going And if there are only two choices, inside the plane or outside the plane, then there's no choice at all
Show this thread -
So you close your eyes You grit your teeth You say a prayer or whisper a goodbye or hum a childhood lullaby You clutch the ripcord and you clench every muscle you can find and you breathe as deep and slow as you can
Show this thread -
Maybe you take a slow, dignified step over the threshold Maybe you charge out screaming bravado and rage Maybe, like a coward, you fall forward in a slow faint, limp and passive, letting the wind make the decision for you
Show this thread -
It doesn't matter No one is here to see The result is the same It only matters that you do it So go Now Every hesitation makes it worse, and yet in the end it doesn't matter how long you waited to do it so long as you still do
Show this thread -
I don't know what's waiting for you when you jump A miraculous recovery without a scratch, perhaps, and a long and happy life thereafter Or a hell of shattered limbs, severed nerves, scars and blood and aches and twinge, sleepless nights of chronic pain and awful dreams
Show this thread -
Medals, honors, ribbons, a cheering crowd and a consensus of historians honoring your courage Or ignominy, hatred, spit and piss running down the lonely gravestone of a traitor and a coward Or no gravestone at all, a body eaten by buzzards and flies leaving no name behind
Show this thread -
I don't know You can't know All of that is for later Maybe it will end in an instant, too soon to notice, and all of this wondering will be for naught
Show this thread -
But you DO know You know where that plane is going That's all there is to know And no matter what, when the plane lands, you won't be on it That's all that matters That's all you need to know That's all the peace I can give you That's all the peace you need
Show this thread -
Take my hand, if you need it Imagine me here with you Imagine anything you need to imagine Imagine everyone you love, gathered in a circle, waiting for you to touch down, welcoming you back to earth, to safety Imagine everything will, somehow, be all right
Show this thread -
And then Shut up and get over yourself and FUCKING LET GO
Show this thread -
Sometimes you have to jump out of the plane
Show this thread
End of conversation
New conversation -
Loading seems to be taking a while.
Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.