This is what they call the "problem of moral luck" -- "no harm, no foul" is a shitty way to judge morality
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What they actually do is get so fucking frustrated that they snap and go "You little ungrateful piece of SHIT" and smack you hard across the face They go "God damn it not NOW" and shove you hard away from them
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Or one day they obviously had a really bad day at work and you "talk back" a little bit too much and they start raining down hard punches on you until they get it out of their system and walk away
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This is literally my fiance's experience -- spanking was a deliberate, calm, clearly-telegraphed punishment sandwiched with lots of "we love you"s, so he was "pro-spanking" until he found out how literally everyone else spanks their child
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Even what he got was extremely unhealthy.
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yeah. I was always spanked on the bottom, not smacked in the face or anywhere else, but it was NEVER impersonal or abstract. it was always when my dad was so angry he couldn't see straight. and people will be like "well that's abuse that's not really spanking" like???
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that's not really a meaningful or useful distinction when you're the child in that scenario
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