(Life is, unfortunately, more complicated than that and this isn't actually always true in abusive relationships among adults But if she came out and said "This wasn't abuse, this was consensual banter" it would have a much higher chance of being true)
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Like okay I'm gonna go there David Bowie's famous scandal where he had sex with a 14-year-old and 15-year-old girl The two girls in question -- now women in their 60s -- adamantly deny that what happened was rape or abuse, they say Bowie was an awesome guy who treated them well
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That's as may be They are, as adults, entitled to their own memories and their own account of events But even if everything they say is completely true... all that means is that Bowie took a wildly dangerous risk and "got away with it" That doesn't make it at all okay
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This is what they call the "problem of moral luck" -- "no harm, no foul" is a shitty way to judge morality
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If I get drunk and throw a Molotov cocktali at someone's house and burn it down and the homeowner says "Hey, good news! This place was an unsellable dump and now I can collect on the insurance! You did me a favor!" it doesn't mean I did something morally acceptable
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You can't go around fucking throwing Molotov cocktails at people's houses and just hope that maybe they all belong to people who actually want their houses burned down
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You can't go around taking advantage of kids for sexual pleasure and hope they all grow up to still say they had a great time and nothing bad happened till the day they die The evidence that it doesn't usually work out that way is far too common to claim you weren't aware of it
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And no, this isn't as extreme as having sex with a child, okay, I'm deliberately using the most extreme possible example But that's the general response to adults arguing that you're demanding they "coddle" kids and act "too careful" with them You HAVE to be careful
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Maybe all the adults who argue that they were spanked regularly as kids and "turned out fine" are telling the truth (I don't see much evidence that they turned out all that great, but whatever) So what if you're fine Plenty of people AREN'T fine
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Replying to @arthur_affect
I've looked at the studies and the tl;dr version is this: most people spanked as kids will be just fine. Some kids, however, will have significantly increased risk factors due to it. Meaning, not worth the risk.
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Well look Here's the thing When people say they "spank their kids", that word can mean an awful lot of things, and it's not clear what they specifically mean by it, and unless you actually spy on them behind closed doors you won't ever *know* what they mean by it
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Replying to @arthur_affect @yazikus
People have this idealized view of what corporal punishment should entail, and hell, I'm willing to believe there are many families who actually practice it in that form Making it very ritualized, institutional, impersonal
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Replying to @arthur_affect @yazikus
"Okay, well, you know what you did, we talked about it and agreed it's unacceptable, and that means you have to accept your punishment now I'm sorry but it has to be done" I still think it's a bad and unnecessary thing to do, but in this form, sure, it's not nearly as bad
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