The charitable reading of the Tiger Mom book as a "satire" implies maybe Chua ends the book actually starting to introspect and think "Hey in what ways might my priorities not be entirely rational and not entirely objective" But then she doubled downhttps://twitter.com/NaomiKritzer/status/1345904577640603649?s=20 …
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The WSJ article came out and she started fielding all this anger from upset readers like me and she dug in her heels "No, the people mad at me are all racist, they're all sexist, and/or they're all entitled lazy brats who don't understand my culture of success"
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That's what upsets me most really Jesus' mini-parable about the specks and the plank wasn't just about *hypocrisy*, it was about *distorted perspective* It's why he specifically talked about *eyes* (not "the smudge on your face")
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You DON'T EVEN KNOW if the other dude actually has a speck in his eye You can't even actually see his eyes Whatever you think you see is distorted by the great honking pile of baggage filling up your field of view, through which you can only see half-imagined ghosts
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EVEN IF you actually think the cleanliness of the other guy's eye matters more -- "Look, I'm the parent here, she's the child, this isn't about me, it's about her emotional and intellectual development" -- YOU CAN'T FIX HER SHIT WITHOUT FIXING YOURS FIRST YOU'LL DO IT WRONG
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Like, Christ, I'm not a therapist, I'm just a Twitter asshole, but the whole saga of the Six-Hour Can Opening Tutorial does not feel like a healthy normal dude to me It gives off all kinds of red flags
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*His own* self-diagnosis ("I'm conscious of my own failures with perseverance and I don't want her to repeat my mistakes") is a red flag That doesn't sound to me like genuine thoughtful altruism, it sounds like textbook harmful projection
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Maybe my own little attempt at empathetic projection up there was self-indulgent but COME ON, a grown man skipping a meal to spend six hours doing anything is at least a little unhealthy
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Spending those six hours on some bullshit you don't need to do for any kind of work or obligation but out of this sense of "honor"? You've got some kind of problem son Dragging a nine-year-old girl into it? You've got a BIG problem my dude
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The self-defensive argument "Hey I went hungry too, I wasn't putting her through anything I wouldn't go through myself" That's the PROBLEM dude Someone who's willing to put HIMSELF through that is already not okay, and now you're making her not okay in the same way
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I dunno man Most of the responses were very hostile and angry, a lot of them were performatively snarky, and people had the right to react that way But a lot of them were also actively trying to reach out and be at least a little empathetic and compassionate to the dad
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One lady who's a teacher who works in early childhood education did a long thread "This is why adults often misunderstand what children need based on our own baggage, even truly well-meaning adults, this is the way to acknowledge that you've messed up and apologize"
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And what really depresses me is how it all just bounced off and got lost in the noise of "people trying to cancel me" It makes me really sad Because 99.9% of the time that's just what happens The hardest damn thing is to admit you have a problem ESPECIALLY for parents
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End of conversation
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