I tried to convince myself to like it because I really believed back then that it was my only way out of poverty toward a respectable career and status and money and feeling good about myself when I woke up in the morning and all that stuff Galloway names But God, it didn't work
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I got myself out of that job the instant I had the opportunity to stop doing it All of the weird ADHD shit that made me good at it was very bad for me as a person -- this sense of looming pressure, this animal instinct to always be hunting the next lead, never feeling safe
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I try not to describe that period in my life like it makes me badass or cool I don't think it was, and I don't even think I was good at the job because I was a likable, personable person Thinking back on it always reminds me of Bill selling the protein bars in King of the Hill
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God and see *I know what he means* by "your competence will itself become your passion" Fuck, I knew the pitch inside and out, better than my boss did I spent my spare time doing research and rehearsing in my head so I always had something to say to "overcome objections"
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I was, like, filled with facts about the product, about our competitors, about random shit the potential customer might want to chit-chat about I had *strong opinions* about selling in our market, about which territories were ripe pickings and which ones were duds
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And all of this fucking hurts to think back on I spent so much more energy during that time period thinking about this shit, getting better at something that *didn't matter* It was *so stupid* I haven't looked up the company once since I stopped working there
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God imagine if I'd spent that time able to fully focus on shit like taking improv or acting classes (which I was trying to juggle on top of my job at the time) Would I be a great stand-up comedian in New York today? Probably not, but I'd have enjoyed life a lot more
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Imagine if I'd had all that time to spend working on myself, or my relationships Or thinking about the world and trying to just be wiser, more insightful, more empathetic Maybe it wouldn't have worked but it'd at least have been more worth the effort
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Galloway is, I think, attacking a strawman, or at least painting with too broad a brush, when he diagnoses quitters with just being unable to handle adversity "The moment it gets hard and it isn't immediately pleasurable anymore, you give up and you decide it's not your passion"
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It just makes me want to scream Like whatever my problem is, it's not that Fuck, I *knew* from the *beginning* it wasn't my passion and I WAS BETTER AT SELLING THAT STUPID PRODUCT THAN PEOPLE TWICE MY AGE WHO'D BEEN THERE FOR TEN YEARS
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Whatever my reason for being miserable and fantasizing vividly about my own death every day when I got up for work it had nothing to do with "not getting the immediate feedback of success"
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I DID get the immediate feedback of success -- they put my name at the top of the leaderboard every fucking day, my manager was like "My man!" every time he read my name and my take for the day off -- and that was, evidently, not enough to make me happy
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