So I mean this family discourse "It's built into the way human development works: we all start as helpless babies, we need some adult or group of adults to have absolute power over is to survive, and those adults will have a profound effect on our psyche" Okay and that's bad
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"But it's natural and inescapable!" Doesn't make it not bad "If it's the way we evolved to develop then it means we have no choice but to find a way to grow up this way without trauma and regret" Just cause you have no choice but to do it doesn't make it possible
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"So what, you're saying give up on happiness? Give up on a better world? Give up on the future of the human race?" Maybe! I dunno! Just cause we're here doesn't mean we're "supposed" to be here, just cause we're trying doesn't mean we're "supposed" to ever succeed
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Replying to @arthur_affect
That truth frees us to focus on what kind of life and what kind of world we want, and to make decisions and take action toward it, and to struggle with other humans over our different wants.
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Replying to @NorsEllie
Well, okay, let's go there: It may not always be possible for a given individual to even articulate desires or goals they have, and if they do those desires or goals may not ever be achievable It's quite possible -- even likely -- to just be a person who can't be happy
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Replying to @arthur_affect
I honestly don’t think happiness is a goal anyone should be aiming for. I’m eternally grateful to Sara Ahmed for alerting me to the original idea of happiness - an unpredictable occurrence, which cannot be planned for.
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Replying to @NorsEllie @arthur_affect
I mean, if people want to try, by all means try, but I think it’s one of the least likely life goals to bring about the life and world *I* want. On your point of people not knowing what they want, that’s absolutely true. But perhaps they can want to know what they want?
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Replying to @NorsEllie
I don't really want anything, including to know what I want At this point I kind of resent even being asked the question
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Replying to @arthur_affect
May I ask, is that because all of your past wants are fulfilled, and you have no new ones, or is it an all around lack of desire and energy?
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Replying to @NorsEllie @arthur_affect
Literally none of my business, of course, but first could be contentment and second could be depression.
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I'm a believer in depressive realism
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Replying to @arthur_affect
*nods* For me this is why grieving is such an important part of being human.
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Replying to @NorsEllie @arthur_affect
I refuse to give up on desire, even when I know a specific desire cannot be fulfilled, because I find it an important way to know myself.
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