People related by blood are permitted to work at cross purposes in ways that people in chosen families simply are not The moment Huxley starts bringing less to the table than the trouble he's worth, he can be rehomed
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If family's not egalitarian than it's no kind of family at all Hell, look at how in polyam communities "unicorn hunter" came to be a four-letter word Because it connotes a committed couple looking for a hot cisbi chick they can consign to a permanent role of subordination
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Just, this pet This objectified instrument of sexual gratification relegated to a deputized role in a fucked up interplay between two other people who are having all the big conversations somewhere she can't hear them Getting handed down news and ultimatums from on high
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It doesn't matter, ultimately, whether or not you're in an affectional relationship or a platonic one The one thing you can never, ever expect from "chosen family" is even conditional priority over the people they feel more traditionally committed to That, and longevity
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Chosen family and found family are inherently transactional relationships And the nature of the transaction is that the one who needs family the most is invariably the one most at risk of finding themselves cut out of it The one who stands to lose the most from being disposed
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I'm not sure what good that is A game in which the most lucrative rewards go to the people who least need to play it One designed to incentivize being selfish in the most damaging ways
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Honestly you know why I know acephobia is real and systemic? Because all too often the only way to make somebody give a fuck about your wellbeing for longer than a few years is to collaborate with their genitals somehow
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The whole thing about spouses "trying to save the relationship" by having a baby
@arthur_affect would point out all the myriad ways it doesn't work but I would argue it's perfectly successful in exactly one way, which is to force a lifelong mutual relevance to each other's lives2 replies 1 retweet 27 likesShow this thread -
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Replying to @arthur_affect @Nymphomachy
Some (non-safe-sane-consensual) BDSM "slave contract" where you, like, sign away 100% of your assets to your dom and give them the key to the cabinet your meds are locked in *works* too It's just making a huge bet Future You still will want what Present You wants
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I mean the anti-divorce conservatives who say that marriage lasts a lot longer if you don't give people any escape hatch, they're psychologically compelled to find a way to make it work, have a point It's just that that's a fucking evil way to think people should have to live
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