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arthur_affect's profile
Arthur Chu
Arthur Chu
Arthur Chu
Verified account
@arthur_affect

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Arthur ChuVerified account

@arthur_affect

Mad genius, comedian, actor, and freelance voiceover artist broadcasting from the distant shores of Lake Erie (he/him)

Broadview Heights, Ohio
arthur-chu.com
Joined August 2009

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    1. Arthur Chu‏Verified account @arthur_affect 19 Nov 2020

      32) A good story is symmetrical, like a sandwich, with bread on top and bottom There is a reason sandwiches are the most popular food in every part of the world, and asymmetrical foods, such as pizza, are routinely folded over to make calzones

      1 reply 2 retweets 34 likes
      Show this thread
    2. Arthur Chu‏Verified account @arthur_affect 19 Nov 2020

      33) When a reader sends a DM request, saying they just want to talk, why won't you just reply I mean, they said they just want to talk Are you afraid or something? You could just say no Come on, I know you're reading this What, are you gonna block me on this handle too

      1 reply 1 retweet 45 likes
      Show this thread
    3. Arthur Chu‏Verified account @arthur_affect 19 Nov 2020

      34) If you want to write a character who dies of an aneurysm, a good time to do it is while they are flying a small plane, so they crash into the ocean and their body is never recovered This makes their death into a tantalizing unsolvable mystery, when otherwise it would not

      3 replies 5 retweets 38 likes
      Show this thread
    4. Arthur Chu‏Verified account @arthur_affect 19 Nov 2020

      35) If a character is over six feet, six inches (200 cm) tall, they are too tall to ride the Top Thrill Dragster at Ohio's Cedar Point

      2 replies 3 retweets 37 likes
      Show this thread
    5. Arthur Chu‏Verified account @arthur_affect 19 Nov 2020

      36) If your character has voluntarily ordered and consumed a Quarter Pounder at McDonald's on three or more separate occasions within the past 72 hours, they simply are not a vegetarian, however they choose to identify

      2 replies 1 retweet 31 likes
      Show this thread
    6. Arthur Chu‏Verified account @arthur_affect 19 Nov 2020

      37) A character reflecting in solitude about their decisions that led them to this point as they slowly suffocate to death on Mars *is not* and *cannot be* a work of historical fiction, much less a 19th-century comedy of manners

      1 reply 2 retweets 38 likes
      Show this thread
    7. Arthur Chu‏Verified account @arthur_affect 19 Nov 2020

      38) Slowly zooming out to reveal the your setting is a miniature town in a snow globe being stared at by a child in whose imagination the entire previous story took place, if that story included sexual themes, is pedophilia

      1 reply 0 retweets 40 likes
      Show this thread
    8. Arthur Chu‏Verified account @arthur_affect 19 Nov 2020

      39) Your characters are your creation and you are wholly responsible for their actions. Any income they earn will have to be reported on your own tax returns and you cannot claim them as dependents, nor do they apply to the phase-out for the EITC

      1 reply 6 retweets 47 likes
      Show this thread
    9. Arthur Chu‏Verified account @arthur_affect 19 Nov 2020

      40) If you have a character that biting and stinging insects seem to hate, especially disease-carrying mosquitoes, but that attracts pollinators such as honeybees, butterflies and moths, that character is a keeper and may qualify you for a deduction on your property tax

      2 replies 1 retweet 28 likes
      Show this thread
    10. Arthur Chu‏Verified account @arthur_affect 19 Nov 2020

      41) If you have a writer on your staff who continually ignores good-faith fan feedback in favor of rooting around in trash cans and rinsing any food scraps they find under running water before eating them, this writer is probably a wild raccoon Call animal control immediately

      2 replies 7 retweets 52 likes
      Show this thread
      Arthur Chu‏Verified account @arthur_affect 19 Nov 2020

      42) The easiest way to deal with upset readers, especially readers who contact you directly and refuse to leave you alone, is to send them $500 PayPal and Venmo usually work, but in some cases you may need to route a wire transfer or mail a paper check to a PO box

      11:21 PM - 19 Nov 2020
      • 2 Retweets
      • 24 Likes
      • Vanessa Amelia Parody Account (but also her real account) Erydani Black Trans Lives Matter Gooch Cooper Horrible Checkers Lad Appreciator Brad Michael Elmore Doc Bennie! 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🔯
      1 reply 2 retweets 24 likes
        1. New conversation
        2. Arthur Chu‏Verified account @arthur_affect 19 Nov 2020

          43) Moe was better than Shemp

          2 replies 1 retweet 22 likes
          Show this thread
        3. Arthur Chu‏Verified account @arthur_affect 19 Nov 2020

          44) How did the original one go all the way to ONE HUNDRED of these Fuck it I'm out

          9 replies 1 retweet 57 likes
          Show this thread
        4. End of conversation

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