It's Canada, and so probably we would a) give the moose a very frosty look of low-key disapproval, and b) apologize to it thus: "Sorry, you're licking the car?" because that's how you do it here.
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Rocky voice: "Bullwinkle, you stop that right now."
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Lick your own car first, to establish dominance ?
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have you considered competing with the moose in the marketplace of ideas
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"OK, so, let's say, for the sake of argument, that you don't lick my car."
End of conversation
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'Oo noo, yer doont wawna be dooon thet, eh?' Presumably.
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Give your car a color that doesn't look tasty
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In Canada you get a pamphlet when you turn 18 with instructions in case your parents didn't teach you, this is just a reminder.
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My thought is more, what if you see them with the wrong timing? "LICK YOUR CAR DO NOT LET THE MOOSE" It's YOUR car, goddammit - YOU lick it, not those damn chonky reindeer!
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Washing your car regularly might actually help, if the problem is from road salt building up. Also good for your car in winter.
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