Yeah I'm pretty sure I've read and thought more about this issue than you have and, in fact, blithely dismissing any parallels or any pattern of bigotry between homophobia and transphobia is the shallow, presentist point of view
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The idea that gay men were "erasing women" by being gay - "expressing contempt for women by creating a new sexual paradigm in which all roles could be played by men" - was pretty popular among second-wave radfems Look up the Redstockings, Ti-Grace Atkinson, etc
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OTOH you have Milo Y who openly hates women and frames that as part of his gayness. I mean, he's one specific example, but it does exist in the world.
End of conversation
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