There was two major themes I was going for what it is to be an adult and how you're responsible for your actions (Laurel, which was butchered in the edit) And minority voices needing access to power to give it more nuance (which I believe remains intact)
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Replying to @BradMichaelElm1 @autogynamelia and
taking responsibility--that's an interesting theme. the movie as it stands struck me as exploring the idea that, well, figuring yourself out is a selfish thing /and that's okay./ it's okay to not always be available to do other people's emotional labor--
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Replying to @perdricof @BradMichaelElm1 and
that you're not actually required to show up on demand and tell people that you're fine, everything's fine, everything's great that you can just say, look, i am in some weird shit of my own (figuring out that i'm trans / a vampire), i don't have time to perform that for you
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Replying to @perdricof @BradMichaelElm1 and
and uh for some Personal Reasons this really struck a chord with me especially because it's so counter to the standard message about growing up, becoming mature--becoming a Normal Adult, that is
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Replying to @perdricof @BradMichaelElm1 and
anyways i've no idea if that was the intended narrative, but to me at least that's what came out on screen
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Replying to @perdricof @autogynamelia and
I'm glad it resonated. My intention was sort of the opposite, or, more nuanced, because yes she has every right to make these mistakes and go buck wild, but also for her to realize when she's taking other people's emotional labor for granted. Sadly the cut mitigates that.
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Replying to @BradMichaelElm1 @autogynamelia and
to be a little less abstract about it i hurt people by coming out; i hurt some of them badly; i destroyed relationships that were central to my life /and i could have not done that./ i could have stayed in the closet. never touched that part of my soul, in thought or deed
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Replying to @perdricof @BradMichaelElm1 and
and all it would have taken was a little pain and suffering on my own part to keep all these people happy, untroubled, to keep on being the steady reliable emotional resource they wanted and needed me to be so in a straightforward way, what i did was selfish, terribly selfish
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Replying to @perdricof @BradMichaelElm1 and
which is a long-winded way of saying, i wouldn't characterize laurel's actions as going buck wild; we're not talking about mere 'youthful irresponsibility' here she's trying to become who she is
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Replying to @perdricof @BradMichaelElm1 and
And I think this is about as universal a sentiment among trans people as you're likely to find. We all felt this exact thing at some point, that our being trans was an ordeal that we were selfishly inflicting on the people around us, through no fault of their own.
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The word "narcissism" has dogged trans discourse since its inception and is the favorite weapon of TERFs (who seem oblivious to how much right-wing reactionaries also like to aim it at women in general)
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Replying to @arthur_affect @autogynamelia and
But obviously it's not unique to trans people (as much as TERFs like to gaslight us that it is) Hannah Gadsby's bit about how the first words her mom spoke after she came out were "How could you do this to me?"
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