It should take all your answers to your questions, throw them away, and then politely say "It seems that a Muggle has infiltrated the Hogwarts grounds. Please remain calm, Obliviators have been dispatched from the Ministry to deal with the intruder"
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You are Angus Buchanan And Dudley Dursley, and Frank Bryce, and Jake Kowalski, and the Prime Minister, and all the other disposable Muggle characters in this universe who exist only as background noise to the real people
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If you somehow got on the Hogwarts grounds they would throw you right back out, in front of a laughing jeering crowd, impervious to your begging and sobbing Some of the self righteous Gryffindor types would feel bad But they'd all agree it was necessary It's just not for you
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The fact that the Hogwarts fantasy by its very nature is exclusionsist and elitist - "I'm not like you MUGGLES, I'm special" - and the sheer delusion of indulging in this kind of fantasy, inventing a tiny cloistered elite and then being sure you'd be in it
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In my yoga cult this is the exact type of thing we would have adopted - the normals are ‘muggles’ - but it was before HP so we took inspiration from Buckaroo Banzai and called outsiders ‘monkey boys’
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Replying to @KaviMontanaro @arthur_affect and
I mean I tweeted before about how I and
@life_minutiae attended a private school that was basically this What happens IRL is that no one can be definitively proved to be a "Muggle infiltrator" or "Squib" so there is constant competition, anxiety, constant policing1 reply 4 retweets 34 likes -
Replying to @patiencemosher @KaviMontanaro and
And your Neville Longbottom types become the target of bullying if not outright violence, especially if they are female or otherwise marginalized in some way And the faculty *supports this*, they're separating the wheat from the chaff which is obviously desirable
4 replies 3 retweets 46 likes -
Replying to @patiencemosher @arthur_affect and
It never made sense to me that ALL wizards go to Hogwarts. I still suspect it to be a ruling class thing, and the Weasleys only get in because of legacy admission. There would have to be dozens of working class schools too.
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Replying to @KaviMontanaro @arthur_affect and
I mean I never immersed myself in the fandom because I didn't think the books were that great, plus I think subconsciously I recognized the setting and DGAF if Hogwarts was destroyed by a nuclear blast, but I gather that is canon?
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Replying to @patiencemosher @KaviMontanaro and
Yeah JKR said on Twitter that Hogwarts is a state school ultimately run by the Ministry and partially supported by taxes It's legally mandatory that all children with magic potential in the UK (and Ireland) go to Hogwarts because untrained magic is so dangerous
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This, of course, flies directly in the face of JKR's retcon that most wizards and witches worldwide are homeschooled or self-taught in order to justify her big fuckup of saying there's only 11 wizard schools in the whole world But that's JKR and worldbuilding for you
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Replying to @arthur_affect @patiencemosher and
I guess what this adds up to is just that the UK (and Ireland) is just more special than everywhere else
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Replying to @arthur_affect @KaviMontanaro and
imitating the UK is a big thing for English Canadians of a certain vintage and class I'm very grateful that that anglophilia is dying out with demographic shifts because in retrospect it is toxic AF
1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes - Show replies
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