And he's so humiliated he has a breakdown and flees sobbing from the Great Hall And he's escorted back home, only for his father to meet him at his front door and say he's soiled the family name forever and no goddamn no-magic nobody is any son of his
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And throws him out and he's now homeless and his siblings are forbidden from communicating with him Holy shit Holy FUCKING shit
3 replies 5 retweets 94 likes -
This is an archetypal queer/trans story She WROTE THIS STORY and put it on Pottermore And then she gives it a fucking happy ending Angus somehow survives as an orphan street kid with no knowledge of Muggle technology or culture He ends up getting into sports somehow
1 reply 5 retweets 112 likes -
And becomes a star player on the Scottish rugby team And suddenly one day his siblings find him and realize he's famous And his story spreads through the Wizarding World and his career gets a cult following and supposedly to this day that's why wizards root for Scottish rugby
2 replies 2 retweets 78 likes -
Replying to @arthur_affect @Nymphomachy
ughghghghg it is PEAK jkr to take this storytelling opportunity and waste it on the equivalent of "and that's how cyclops got his x-men codename"
1 reply 1 retweet 16 likes -
man i literally read a tumblr post better than this, about like, squib kids with no magic scamming their way into hogwarts with like, sleight of hand bullshit and absolute lies, and getting sorted directly into slytherin
1 reply 1 retweet 14 likes -
hahah here it is it's AMAZING, so so good https://ink-splotch.tumblr.com/post/104058597984/facts-from-the-2014-uk-editions-of-harry-potter … spoiler but HOGWARTS TEACHES AN ENTIRE BRANCH OF MAGIC CALLED POTIONS THAT REQUIRES NO MAGICAL ABILITY AT ALL jkr ain't SHIT
1 reply 1 retweet 11 likes -
Replying to @seandehey @Nymphomachy
Unfortunately the fact that in canon you have to do stuff like stir potions with your wand and zap them with it and so on as part of the recipe means Muggles probably canonically can't make portions, they still draw on your magical energy
1 reply 0 retweets 6 likes -
But yes the idea of a Muggle managing to scam their way through Hogwarts is very appealing
2 replies 0 retweets 10 likes -
And yeah the thing is Hogwarts is almost sadistic about just making every damn thing as inaccessible to Muggles as possible, IIRC part of your training is you have to learn Alohomora as one of your first spells and the school is full of locked doors you can only open with it
1 reply 0 retweets 6 likes
This hypothetical Squib would get caught on the first day of gym class, where you have to go "Up!" to a broom and fly on it, something that's supposed to be, if not impossible, very dangerous for Muggles to try and do (Gym class is fucking bullshit in any setting)
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I really liked how the episode of WWDITS with Celeste faking being a vampire in that setting should've been just impossible because vampires have such a ridiculous array of powers and weaknesses that come up ALL THE TIME But they wanted to believe her so badly they ignored it
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