And becomes a star player on the Scottish rugby team And suddenly one day his siblings find him and realize he's famous And his story spreads through the Wizarding World and his career gets a cult following and supposedly to this day that's why wizards root for Scottish rugby
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He writes a bestselling book My Life as a Squib that inspires someone to start a charitable foundation to support Squibs with no family And they name an award at Hogwarts in his honor, the Angus Buchanan Award for Effort (as a separate quality from talent)
5 replies 2 retweets 81 likes -
Ha ha oh man I hate this This is JKR's centrist liberal bullshit all over I know she wanted this to be a touching story about the prejudice and bigotry that still plagues the Wizarding World and shows they've got work to do to reform But fuck her and fuck "reform"
4 replies 7 retweets 108 likes -
Fuck the story about the gay kid who got kicked out at the age of fucking twelve and then somehow became a star athlete and his dad felt bad and said sorry and bought his fucking book Like that somehow fixes anything for the kids who just fucking died
4 replies 7 retweets 123 likes -
Fuck the book and fuck the condescending award named after him that ISN'T EVEN GIVEN TO PEOPLE WITH HIS DISABILITY, just abled students who share his ability to "overcome difficulties" The whole thing is such on the nose centrist liberal pablum it hurts
1 reply 8 retweets 108 likes -
This story should've ended with Angus Buchanan using the Muggle muscle mass he built in his long life of doing hard Muggle labor to take a Muggle cricket hat and break into his shitty dad's house and beat him six ways from Sunday
1 reply 3 retweets 89 likes -
It should've ended with him leaking everything he knows about these parasitic mind-raping reality warper mutants to the Muggle government and having a Muggle cruise missile reduce Hogwarts to rubble It should've ended with burning that fucking hat to ash
1 reply 9 retweets 96 likes -
Fuck this shit This society is not redeemable Their elitist bigotry is not quaint and charming and cute What the fuck are you teaching these kids Joanne
1 reply 11 retweets 101 likes -
Every single Harry Potter fan should've gotten this result from the damn Sorting Hat quiz, if it were honest It shouldn't say Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff or Slytherin
3 replies 5 retweets 77 likes -
It should take all your answers to your questions, throw them away, and then politely say "It seems that a Muggle has infiltrated the Hogwarts grounds. Please remain calm, Obliviators have been dispatched from the Ministry to deal with the intruder"
1 reply 5 retweets 88 likes
You are Angus Buchanan And Dudley Dursley, and Frank Bryce, and Jake Kowalski, and the Prime Minister, and all the other disposable Muggle characters in this universe who exist only as background noise to the real people
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If you somehow got on the Hogwarts grounds they would throw you right back out, in front of a laughing jeering crowd, impervious to your begging and sobbing Some of the self righteous Gryffindor types would feel bad But they'd all agree it was necessary It's just not for you
2 replies 5 retweets 87 likes -
The fact that the Hogwarts fantasy by its very nature is exclusionsist and elitist - "I'm not like you MUGGLES, I'm special" - and the sheer delusion of indulging in this kind of fantasy, inventing a tiny cloistered elite and then being sure you'd be in it
4 replies 10 retweets 101 likes - Show replies
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