To the point where they managed to forge a Hogwarts letter and get him on the train Only, of course, the plan all falls to pieces at the Sorting Ceremony, when as soon as they put the Hat on his head it says "Hey wait a minute you don't belong in any House, you're a Muggle"
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And he's so humiliated he has a breakdown and flees sobbing from the Great Hall And he's escorted back home, only for his father to meet him at his front door and say he's soiled the family name forever and no goddamn no-magic nobody is any son of his
1 reply 2 retweets 74 likes -
And throws him out and he's now homeless and his siblings are forbidden from communicating with him Holy shit Holy FUCKING shit
3 replies 5 retweets 94 likes -
This is an archetypal queer/trans story She WROTE THIS STORY and put it on Pottermore And then she gives it a fucking happy ending Angus somehow survives as an orphan street kid with no knowledge of Muggle technology or culture He ends up getting into sports somehow
1 reply 5 retweets 112 likes -
And becomes a star player on the Scottish rugby team And suddenly one day his siblings find him and realize he's famous And his story spreads through the Wizarding World and his career gets a cult following and supposedly to this day that's why wizards root for Scottish rugby
2 replies 2 retweets 78 likes -
He writes a bestselling book My Life as a Squib that inspires someone to start a charitable foundation to support Squibs with no family And they name an award at Hogwarts in his honor, the Angus Buchanan Award for Effort (as a separate quality from talent)
5 replies 2 retweets 81 likes -
Ha ha oh man I hate this This is JKR's centrist liberal bullshit all over I know she wanted this to be a touching story about the prejudice and bigotry that still plagues the Wizarding World and shows they've got work to do to reform But fuck her and fuck "reform"
4 replies 7 retweets 108 likes -
Fuck the story about the gay kid who got kicked out at the age of fucking twelve and then somehow became a star athlete and his dad felt bad and said sorry and bought his fucking book Like that somehow fixes anything for the kids who just fucking died
4 replies 7 retweets 123 likes -
Fuck the book and fuck the condescending award named after him that ISN'T EVEN GIVEN TO PEOPLE WITH HIS DISABILITY, just abled students who share his ability to "overcome difficulties" The whole thing is such on the nose centrist liberal pablum it hurts
1 reply 8 retweets 108 likes -
This story should've ended with Angus Buchanan using the Muggle muscle mass he built in his long life of doing hard Muggle labor to take a Muggle cricket hat and break into his shitty dad's house and beat him six ways from Sunday
1 reply 3 retweets 89 likes
It should've ended with him leaking everything he knows about these parasitic mind-raping reality warper mutants to the Muggle government and having a Muggle cruise missile reduce Hogwarts to rubble It should've ended with burning that fucking hat to ash
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Fuck this shit This society is not redeemable Their elitist bigotry is not quaint and charming and cute What the fuck are you teaching these kids Joanne
1 reply 11 retweets 101 likes -
Every single Harry Potter fan should've gotten this result from the damn Sorting Hat quiz, if it were honest It shouldn't say Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff or Slytherin
3 replies 5 retweets 77 likes - Show replies
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