(In reality, the most common scenario for surrogacy based on my reading is that the surrogate does in fact continue pumping and sending milk to the parents, but does not actually nurse the baby herself and bond with the infant, which, yes, I am well aware is your real objection)
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Replying to @arthur_affect @pmberkeley and
And, of course, there would be the exact same decisions to make with adopting an infant. None of those choices are unique to surrogacy.
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Replying to @Callalily57 @pmberkeley and
The arguments against surrogacy are MUCH STRONGER arguments against infant adoption, like infant adoption is in fact "worse" in terms of these problem areas in every single way, so the way so many of these people play the "Why not just adopt" card is very galling
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Replying to @arthur_affect @Callalily57 and
Children who are orphaned by life circumstances with no family to take them in, or who are not able to be cared for by their parents, are usually "undesirables" in the communities seeking to have a baby by surrogacy. These adoptions are not even a little problematic.
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Replying to @pmberkeley @arthur_affect and
Children who are "are orphaned by life circumstances with no family to take them in" are incredibly difficult to find, and "who are not able to be cared for by their parents," is a category that is very tricky because the parents often could care for the kids given support.
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Replying to @Eristae @arthur_affect and
No. These children are VERY EASY TO FIND, they're just "undesirable".
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Replying to @pmberkeley @arthur_affect and
No, they aren't. I say this as someone who is *currently involved* in navigating foster adoption. Most children *do* have family.
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Replying to @Eristae @arthur_affect and
Oh are you not looking at all the kids with health problems?
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Replying to @pmberkeley @arthur_affect and
Most kids with health issues *also* have families. Having health problems doesn't make the family die and I don't know why you think it would. One of the things about going through foster adoption is that most of the kids have families that they want you to maintain contact with.
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Replying to @Eristae @arthur_affect and
Most kids with health problems up for adoption are being deserted by their families. You know that. But you're pretending like they aren't an option.
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Yeah actual "orphans" by the dictionary definition of an orphan are extremely rare, and TPR is very rarely a fully voluntary, no hard feelings clean break from the bio parents These are two extremely persistent and damaging myths about the foster system people don't think about
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Replying to @arthur_affect @pmberkeley and
One of the grim realities of looking at adoption (which I've struggled with) is knowing that the kids who are there are hugely there because their families are poor. Not all of them, but hugely. If the state had even given them foster care money, they'd be with their families.
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Replying to @Eristae @arthur_affect and
"Why did you leave your kid alone while you were at work?" "Why doesn't your kid have a winter coat?" "Why isn't there food in the fridge?" Money. At my foster care training, they said they don't take kids away because the parents are poor, but it's clearly not true.
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