Look I know academics saying embarrassing things about "eros" or "erotics" in public is easy to dunk on and there's a time honored tradition of doing so But you all know that it makes you look ignorant, right, and not just of PoMo 20th century "queer theory" shit
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A better translation for "philia" in English might be "loyalty" The idea that you can't be a complete person without deciding that you're going to be on your friends' side, that you'll stick up for them, that these are your people
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Which is why the Greeks also saw "philautia" ("self-love") as possibly being a virtue and not a vice "Selfishness" isn't always bad "Loving yourself" in the sense of saying "I have to always be on my side, I have to swear to be my own friend and not my enemy" (basic therapy)
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