Look I know academics saying embarrassing things about "eros" or "erotics" in public is easy to dunk on and there's a time honored tradition of doing so But you all know that it makes you look ignorant, right, and not just of PoMo 20th century "queer theory" shit
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"Philia" gets its highfalutin sense of "brotherly love" from Aristotle's Nichomachean Ethics, where he says philia itself is a necessary virtue to be a complete human being, to have "true friends" Although one example of philia he gives is, in fact, lovers courting
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A better translation for "philia" in English might be "loyalty" The idea that you can't be a complete person without deciding that you're going to be on your friends' side, that you'll stick up for them, that these are your people
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