Look I know academics saying embarrassing things about "eros" or "erotics" in public is easy to dunk on and there's a time honored tradition of doing so But you all know that it makes you look ignorant, right, and not just of PoMo 20th century "queer theory" shit
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In real life, when people talk about any kind of "eros" - or, hell, the English word "desire" - about another person, yeah, it's inevitable sex gets into it Everyone sideeyes the dude who has a massive "crush" on a celebrity dude he greatly admires but swears it's "not gay"
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And yet if you insist that sex MUST be part of it and that in every such case it MUST be gay you're pretty clearly wrong and being an asshole
End of conversation
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