You ever think about other species of undead that live on the other humor Like how would it feel to be a phlegm vampirehttps://twitter.com/Billaric/status/1305958379991576577?s=19 …
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Replying to @arthur_affect
at least if you fed off of vitreous fluid you could keep your mortality rate low, you'd just leave a lot of blind people around, or you could hang with a vampire and then help yourself to the eyes afterward
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Replying to @Nymphomachy
I'm just imagining phlegmpires being the most benign variant, like the castle is full of "phlegm dolls" who just happen to suffer from seasonal allergies
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Replying to @arthur_affect @Nymphomachy
Order of the Stick riffed on the other bodily fluids from Churchill's speech, and while sweat vampires and tear vampires both seem more benign than blood vampires, they're both kind of distressing in almost opposite ways
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Replying to @arthur_affect @Nymphomachy
Like tear vampires are a variant on emotional vampires but grosser There's nothing actually evil about sweat vampires at all, but... eww
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Replying to @arthur_affect @Nymphomachy
Hanging out at the locker room in the gym and just diving and clamping onto your armpit and/or your crotch
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Replying to @arthur_affect @Nymphomachy
Perched on top of your head and just constantly running its tongue over your forehead, wringing out your hair...
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Replying to @N7IRL @arthur_affect
Would they have like an elephant trunk instead of fangs, some kind of suction tool that just engulfs the scalp and absorbs all the moisture through tiny bristles
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This is beginning to sound very Lovecraftian.
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easier than buying shampoo, if you play your cards right
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Ha ha just this massive sandpaper tongue scraping every trace of sweat off your skin You wouldn't have to shower
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Replying to @arthur_affect @Nymphomachy and
I mean cats seem to enjoy it
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now I'm picturing, like, a Lickitung with cat ears
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