I gotta say, I'm increasingly pretty grossed out by the whole concept of adoption Like. I don't love that my own parents raised me (don't really love that my parents HAD me) but the idea of being handed to people trying to buy me through an intermediary who doesn't KNOW me...
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A lot of the adopter hero narrative is about finding someone who's been traumatized and undoing that trauma before it sticks and ruins the kid's whole future life A theoretically noble goal, but one that carries a lot of baggage
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Yeah, for one thing it requires the adoptive parents to agree that the trauma inflicted on them for who they are was bad, and we have a system which privileges those candidates most likely to think it is good
End of conversation
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