So re: name discourse, I should say that I do in fact have a "Chinese name" that is, in the most technical sense, my "real birth name" (as in I had it before my parents decided on what my name in English would be) And I don't want people to use it
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This isn't, I think, particularly unique, nor is it all that big a deal, but it's part of why True Name Discourse is uncomfortable for me (as I'm sure it was for Chuck Lorre getting yelled at about his "real name" by Charlie Sheen)
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(FWIW, the people I've found who most reliably "get" this are Jewish people who had "Hebrew school" names -- Chuck Lorre was, in fact, named "Charles" on his birth certificate just like I was "Arthur", even though his "real name" among his older relatives was "Chaim")
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Anyway that's my very small personal contribution to this Discourse about "real names" and pseudonyms I haven't actually had much occasion to use different names in different contexts but everyone from an immigrant culture knows that it's a Thing and that it's personal
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I'm very big on Asian representation and on being proud of where I come from but I'd still experience someone *demanding* my "real name" from me or rewriting my life story to use my "real name" as a hugely invasive, presumptuous act
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End of conversation
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I get it. The name on my birth cert is different to what my family called me when I was a kid. When I turned 18 I had to use my birth cert name for various adult things which is fine but I find it weird if my family call me that name & weird if others call me by my childhood name
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This is such an interesting thread, thank you for sharing your experience.
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I totally feel this. My legal name really is my Chinese name but it’s for my parents to use and for for me to use when I fill out forms. I’ve met people who is delighted in trying to say my Chinese name to me and it’s uncomfortable in all of the ways.
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