In China they had a whole philosophical conundrum about how the worst possible thing a man could ever do was act against his own father in any way, and therefore what do you do if your father is a traitor to the Emperor The answer was turn him in and immediately kill yourself
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Which means even acknowledging they CAN come into conflict is this painful taboo thing (to have this philosophical argument at all was highly controversial, it's like being someone who keeps saying "What if you had to torture a baby to stop the world from exploding")
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ok but why do the consequences of that only fall on the son, and not the agent of the state who is executing him under both circumstances? why haven't "you" done something wrong, by killing someone for protecting his father / for turning in a traitor?
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I think a better way to conceptualize this is that Confucianism was built on seeing a family itself as the unit and not the individual I am an extension of my father (and he of his father, all the way up to a living patriarch) We are one unit
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