Having the kid and bonding early to them means that they will always be emotionally attached to you No matter what kind of shit you do to them, no matter how awful a person you end up being That's not heartwarming the way people say it is, it's scary as fuck
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It means there's no easy or graceful way out There's no way to back out if you fuck up, there's no unshouldering this responsibility in a way that doesn't itself cause even greater harm
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Every case of court-ordered termination of parental rights, even the most clearcut and justified, leaves a trail of destruction in its wake, it's an amputation of a limb
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When you have a job you can't fail at without causing irreparable and major damage to another human being, when you can't even *quit* that job without causing tremendous harm, you REALLY REALLY have to think before you agree to take it
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There's a lot of things you could compare this to -- most of all marriage, and divorce -- but none of them are quite the same because CHILDREN DON'T GET A CHOICE ON THEIR END OF THE DEAL
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Abusive people seek out positions of power over children. That's partially the problem. It's why there's so many stories about abusive teachers, orphanages, foster parents, etc. So any alternative to parents tends to have the same problem as parents.
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A lot of folks will have the baby of a person they would never consider marrying but a co-parent is 100x harder to remove from your life than a marriage partner.
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