It’s one thing to say it’s difficult to parent. It’s very hard to be a parent. It is another entirely to say that non-parents are “privileged”. Using privileged is a total and inaccurate misappropriation of identity politics discourse to weaponize the unpaid work of parenting.
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Replying to @reappropriate @arthur_affect
I don’t know what all this academic gobbledygook means. But I’m NOT a parent, and when I see what all of the parents go through, I feel privileged.
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Replying to @JohnyKeats @reappropriate
The word "privilege" isn't really for things you get to decide whether or not to do
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But you can't just decide you'll be a parent from now on (and vice versa). Similarly, the privileged position of Bill Gates or a Harvard professor or a US Senator are to some extent results of their choices yet they are still privileges.
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The part that is meaningfully the result of choice is not privilege, and the part of being wealthy that I believe actually is meaningfully the result of choice is very small
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It's about the position. It's a privileged position, giving you more power and responsibility, regardless how you got there. The same goes for non parents: they have more freedom and should also use it more fruitfully.
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I very strongly disagree that you choosing to have a kid and me choosing not to gives me any specific obligation to you
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Replying to @arthur_affect @HuJirui and
Here's a framing I greatly prefer ADULTS are obviously and undeniably privileged relative to CHILDREN Because CHILDREN are vulnerable and dependent and had no choice in being so, we are all on the hook for supporting and protecting CHILDREN, with tax dollars at a bare minimum
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Replying to @arthur_affect @HuJirui and
But centering the PARENTS and making this about how I personally have to support PARENTS is looking at this all the wrong ways It's a framing that directly and inevitably leads to enabling bad parents
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Replying to @arthur_affect @HuJirui and
It's like if we looked at sickness and disability and said "Non-doctors are privileged relative to doctors" like that was the important thing and not "The well and the abled are privileged relative to the disabled and sick"
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It may be that ableism among the currently healthy who don't appreciate doctors means doctors don't get paid enough and we should pay them more That's one possibility It may ALSO mean doctors have too much power over patients and some doctors need to get fired
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Replying to @arthur_affect @HuJirui and
But you're not having the argument about the thing you ought to actually care about as long as you focus on doctors, and as long as you make your whole big framing device the idea that doctors are special people compared to non-doctors
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