Can they apparate everything except their poop
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Replying to @Cybren @arthur_affect and
this feels like it's out of something where it starts as a bathroom-humor parody and then descends into an absolute nightmare of all-powerful wizards just doing whatever they want with impunity, as if muggles were less than animals to them
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Replying to @perdricof @Cybren and
I imagine there must have been at least one prankster wizard who hung around in public restrooms secretly vanishing other people's poop just as it was coming out.
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Replying to @FroyoBaggins @perdricof and
I mean why even use toilets Why not just have toilet seats, suspended over empty air, that serve as a stargate of sorts to anything deposited through them
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Replying to @Nymphomachy @FroyoBaggins and
Well this is how we get spheres of annihilation
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Replying to @Cybren @FroyoBaggins and
Maybe it's teleportation A Hogwarts headmaster could probably control where to direct the flow, like you could teleport all student and faculty's personal waste to the master bedroom in Trump Tower
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Replying to @Nymphomachy @Cybren and
This was an actual joke in Discworld They find a mysterious portal at Unseen University and one of the faculty says they just spontaneously happen sometimes in highly medical environments and it's best not to mess with them
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Replying to @arthur_affect @Nymphomachy and
Last time they dug up a subbasement room with a mysterious portal in it they tried all kinds of assays see what other realm it led to but got nothing And nothing they put in came back out So the Archchancellor had a privy built over it
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Replying to @arthur_affect @Nymphomachy and
You think that this story ends with some Lovecraftian entity getting horrible revenge for people shitting in its dimension for months but it's simpler than that The assays didn't work because the portal just led to the same realm, and indeed the same building
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Replying to @arthur_affect @Nymphomachy and
The other side of the portal was in the ceiling of a hidden *attic* room that they'd never found 100 feet directly overhead, in fact Someone made it for some experiment and forgot about it
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"After months of everyone using the magic privy no one had to clean, the floor in the attic finally gave way And so did all the floors below it And, well, the circle closed, as they say"
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Replying to @arthur_affect @Nymphomachy and
"But - but wait, that means the excrement would be falling an *infinite distance* It would keep on accelerating *forever*, in theory it would reach the speed of light, and distort space and time around it -" "Yes, yes, in theory Thank the gods for air friction"
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Replying to @arthur_affect @Nymphomachy and
"I will say that, as unfortunate and costly as the whole affair was, the endless waterfall of flaming shit did make quite the local tourist attraction before it finally burnt out and dissipated"
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