I think one thing that has changed about me a lot in the past few years is I now completely believe in the jokey aphorism "Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you"
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It is possible for people to act badly out of vaguely well intentioned ignorance, not malice...and then immediately go full malice and outrage as soon as they are asked to stop. This is indistinguishable from actions that were malicious from the start.
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And should be evaluated on consequence and harm, and not intentions.
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They lost benefit of doubt long ago.
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I had a therapist once, we started by talking about some of the shit my mum did and how if I did ever forgive her it would take a long time. By the end she was trying to fix my "unhelpful thoughts" by suggesting I should invite my mum round for a meal
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I said that even if my mum didn't do anything terrible I would be constantly on edge thinking she might. To the therapist, this was an unhelpful thought and not a rational concern born of long experience
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