There's an elephant in the room where people try to emphasize that ideally there is no difference between an adoptive parent relationship and a biological one and celebrate adoptive families that uphold the ideal But a lot of adoptive parents clearly don't see it that way
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I'm not saying this as some great defense of the ties of blood, as someone who has plenty of literal scars from blood family
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I almost want to say it in the much more cynical sense - bio parents with 100% of all the weight and pressure of our culture saying you MUST love your kids because they are your FLESH AND BLOOD and a PART OF YOU nonetheless still abandon their kids alarmingly often
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And it's like if you relax that enormous pressure by even just a little bit, you give them that one psychological out - "He isn't even really your kid" - people's eagerness to dip out when things get hard becomes overwhelming It's depressing as hell
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