The joyous climax of the song is the moment that (SPOILERS) in real life is the moment he gave in to despair and tried to kill himself
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I think this is one of those things we genuinely need a word for "Nostalgia for events that never occurred" A feeling sharper and more painful than the nostalgia for things you actually had and then lost An emotion powered entirely by the boundless capacity of imagination
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Replying to @Nymphomachy @rgibson103
Saudade is translated as "bittersweet", it's a positive emotion and not really what I mean
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Saudade connotes a sense of acceptance, it's almost the opposite of what I mean It's the Wonder Years kind of nostalgia, where part of the emotion is the pain of having lost those things is this feeling of safety that those things are in the past and tucked away in memory
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Like you're happy that your teen years are over because that's right and proper, you wouldn't want them to be different even if they were imperfect, they were a stepping stone to a future you're anticipating That's almost the *opposite* of what I mean
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What I'm talking about is what
@BootlegGirl describes as a sense of *desperation*, of terrible fear and dread It's the kind of "nostalgia" in the "Again" of "Make America Great Again" that drives MAGAs to madness and violence2 replies 1 retweet 3 likes -
Replying to @arthur_affect @Nymphomachy and
It's what drives Evan in the play to almost kill himself, and then to build a ridiculous and doomed edifice of lies for the tiniest chance of realizing his mad dream of no longer being alone
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Replying to @arthur_affect @Nymphomachy and
The TV episode that reminds me most of the feeling I'm describing is "Impossible Planet" from Electric Dreams And the word in the title is the main thing about it The hunger for the impossible
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The feeling of nostalgic longing and desire not only for something that didn't happen, but that you fully know did not happen and could not have happened, that was by its nature impossible The intolerability of this knowledge, the self-harming pain of dwelling about it
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Replying to @arthur_affect @Nymphomachy and
The unhinged Resistance liberals who won't shut the fuck up about "Earth-2" where Hillary won and America is a utopia Coming back again and again to a relationship that was abusive bullshit from beginning to end longing for the day when you were happy together that you never had
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Replying to @arthur_affect @Nymphomachy and
Like the bitter atheist who realizes he was always lying to himself about hearing the voice of God, and yet never stops trying to hear it
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